Write a memoir III

My 70-year-old son-in-law told me recently that he was sorry he had never asked his grandfather what, exactly, prompted him to leave Russia as a young man and emigrate to the United States. “Nobody else asked either,” he said, “and now nobody will ever know.”

If someone in the family members had written a memoir, that question surely would have come up and been answered. Although it’s too late for that in my son-in-law’s cas, you can prevent further losses to your family’s historical memory by starting your memoir now.
Here’s a way to begin, roughly in the following order:

Consider: What is the story you want to tell? Looking back, can you identify  a theme, a quest, a preoccupation that has been central to your life? Have you had a long-term goal? Has that goal changed? Have you achieved it or replaced it with something else? How did that happen? You may not know as you begin. Answers will emerge or change as you write, but do consider these questions now.

Consider: What is the timeframe of your memoir? Is it your lifetime up to now, a certain time in your life (perhaps your childhood, your twenties, or a certain day?).

Gather stuff that might be relevant, such as old diaries, journals, letters you have saved, e mails and published materials that shed light on the events and people you’ll be writing about.

Look through this stuff, select what seems relevant. Take notes recording memories or questions that surface in your mind, to draw on later. If some scene or incident presents itself vividly, write it out as you see it in your mind’s eye. Don’t worry if it’s relevant, nor about the way you write it down,  just do it. Include dialogue or sayings that have persisted in your memory. You are excavating and will discover things you don’t expect.

Ask yourself, again and again as you proceed: Am I being honest? Am I leaving things out because I’m embarrassed, or afraid of hurting someone? Don’t hold back now, you can consider these issues after you have the first draft.

Talk with people who can amplify or verify what you are writing, or might remember things differently.

Meanwhile, also read books and articles that may give you a clearer perspective on the time period within which your memoir will take place. As much as possible, transport yourself to that time. You are a time traveler, looking back from your present perspective, trying to understand a past time.

Make a rough outline.

You don’t have to begin with your birth and move chronologically, though that’s one option. Many memoirs start with the writer’s present, then jump back to a previous time. From there they might take another leap, in any direction, being careful to keep the story moving and not cause confusion. Others choose an important and dramatic moment along the way, then go back or jump forward. There is no correct way.

You can do your outline the conventional way, with major parts (I, II,III,IV) divided into segments (A,B.C.D.) and these again subdivided (1,2,3,4) or just go with one simple set of chapters, listed, or just write, with double-space breaks where you think one section ends and another begins. I recommend a form I learned from an editor named David Carr some years back in San Francisco. It worked for me.

You draw a big circle. Put yourself in the center, because this memoir is written from your point of view. Divide the circle into four parts, which might be four periods of your life.

Break each of the four sections into smaller segments. Think of an orange.

Who are the principal characters in each particular segment? Jot their names down within that segment.

How does the story told in that segment develop? Is there an issue it deals with? How does it resolve? Each of these segments has a dramatic development.

You may not be able to outline your memoir to this level of detail. That’s ok, but when you have written a segment, review it with the above questions in mind and revise as you find necessary.

You may find yourself revising the order of the parts and segments, I did. But this circular outline helped me stay on track and true to my story.

Now you’re ready to begin. If possible, try to write a little bit every day, at the same time. Don’t  try for perfection, you can revise after you’re done. Enjoy your work and return to the present after it’s done.

The walls of Coit Tower in San Francisco glow with images painted by local artists employed by the federal Works Progress Administration in the 1930s and recently restored.